Just got back from the field. Woke up around 4am and headed to Shinas at exactly 5 am. Shinas is the last wilayat (village) in the Batinah Region, and is near Fujeirah, that’s in UAE already. Drove for 3 1/2 hours straight damn. Afterwards, worked in the sun from 9:30 am till 1 pm. And after eating Chicken Biryani in Sohar, drove again for almost 4 hours and headed home. I could have stayed there in Shinas cos the owner of this parcel of land that i am pegging out, told me he will arrange for a room. I was disappointed to find out that this room was in fact a newly built shop. No bed, no table, no chair, no AC, no water, and the smell of paint all over.. WTF?? And he actually expected me to stay for the night? No way. I am not not a laborer, and the amount of money I bring to the company deserve at least a 3 star hotel where I can fully rest after a very tiring day. I could finish pegging out 80 plots in 2 days, but after what I experienced today, fuck.. Let them wait for one week. I’m not going to work my ass off, and torture myself to death just to meet their deadline. They want it done fast?? They have to treat me better, and give me what I deserve. I wouldn’t care less if this job gets finished or not. They can always look for a better Land Surveyor to do it for them. I wish them luck….

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Hindi ako komportable na derecho mag-tagalog. Hindi ako konyo, at lalong hindi ako pa-sosyal pero kahit ano gawin ko, talagang hinding hindi ako pwede magsalita ng derecho na tagalog. Pinipilit ko lang ngayon sa kadahilanang ayokong may mga banyaga na makabasa ng aking saloobin. baka isipin pa nila, kawawa naman tong taong to. kung anu-ano ang pinagsusulat sa blog nya. mukhang mabigat ang problema. mukhang galit sa mundo. Ok lang kung mga kapwa pinoy ang makakabasa, maiintindihan nila kung ano gusto ko sabihin. Dahil pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay, mas malawak ang pag-intindi ng mga pinoy.

Minsan tinatanong ko ang sarili ko. Bakit nga ba imbes na makihalubilo ako at makigulo sa mga kapwa ko pinoy dito, eh mas pinipili ko pa na magkulong sa bahay, humarap sa PC, at ilabas ang aking saloobin sa pamamagitan ng blogging. Tangina, wala naman ako tlaga hilig mag-blog eh. ewan ko ba. mula ng napadpad ako dito, naging “loner” na ata ako. dati. ang dami ko kaibigan, ka-gimikan, ka-totnakan.. pero ngayon, nagiisa lang ako. walang kasama, walang ka-kama, at walang gustong makasama at mai-kama.

Mas gusto ko pa na nasa bahay lang. siguro nagsawa na rin ako sa buhay na meron ako dati. Araw araw gimik, gabi gabi party. Maya’t maya inom, yosi dito yosi dun. Babae dito babae dun.. haaaay.. iba na tlaga tumatanda.

Ayoko na balikan and dating buhay at istilo ng pamumuhay na meron ako. Gusto ko simpleng buhay na lang. tahimik. Wala gulo. Wala problema. Wala mabigat na iniisip at dinadala.

Pero ang masakit nito. Sa paghahangad ko ng simpleng buhay, eh mas lalo ata nagiging komplikado. Ilan beses ko na pinag-isipan kung bakit imbes na maging ok, eh mas lalo ata nagiging magulo. Wala naman ako bisyo (pati nga yosi tinigil ko na eh), wala kaaway, wala utang (ay meron pala), wala… kumbaga, wala ako nakikita na mali at di tama sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.

Haaayy.. kahit ano gawin ko, hindi ko talaga mailabas gusto ko sabihin. Ang daming nasa dibdib ko na gusto ko isambulat, pero pag nagsisimula na ako magsalita, parang may pumipigil sa akin.

Pero isang bagay lang ang alam ko ngayon. Malungkot ako. Malungkot dahil unang una, ang hirap ng sitwasyon pag nasa ibang bansa ka, at malayo sa pamilya. Nandyan ang tukso. Buti na lang imbes na matukso ako, sila tinutukso ko. Di nila ako matitikman noh. Di ako pahuhuli ng buhay.

Saan nga ba nagsisimula ang pagkalungkot ng isang tao na medyo nagkaka-edad na?? Yan ang tanong ko. Lahat tayo gusto nating may makasama sa araw araw. Yung tipo bang kahit maghapon lang kayo sa bahay, kahit wala kayo magawa, pero ok na kayo pareho. Kahit di kayo mag-usap, basta alam nyo na andyan lang ang isa’t-isa. Yung tipong magkadikitan lang kayo ng kamay, o braso eh hindi nyo na alam ang gagawin nyo sa sobrang excitement at tuwa. Kahit may problema na kayo, basta magkatabi lang kayo, pakiramdam nyo eh kaya nyong lampasan.

Sa madaling salita… yan ang kulang sa akin ngayon. Yung bang “presence” ng isang taong nagmamahal sayo. Nahihirapan ako talaga. Nararamdaman ko lang na importante ako pag kausap ko na sila sa YM. Pag sign out, balik na naman ako sa dati. Malungkot na naman.

Sana lang, kahit di man nila maibigay ang 100 percent presence nila, sana kahit man lang 50 percent.. kahit online lang. kahit email lang. kahit mga litrato lang. yun na nga lang pwede ibigay saken, parang pinagdadamot pa.

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I am a very flexible person. The number of job related comings and goings that I have had the luck, and the misfortunes in getting involved in will attest to that. You can say, I’m a master of almost everything I do. I don’t want to sound conceited on this but let me tell you my work experiences. So you can figure out what the hell I’m talking about.

I started working when I was still in college. My first part time job was DJing on weekends, for a Jazz bar somewhere in Wilson Street, Greenhills. So who taught me how to DJ? No one.. I learned it on my own. Never really earned that much money for I was after the “gimiks” and the hook-up with chicks.

After graduation, instead of becoming an architect, I became a draftsman for an industrial company in Mandaluyong that specialized in engineering plastics. I didn’t know anything about the nature of the job when I applied, but after 3 years with that company, I became an Engineering Staff so there.. I wouldn’t be promoted at all if I didn’t know what I was doing and if I wasn’t adept at it. Got offered a bigger paycheck by a rival company that’s why I moved. Good salary, attractive benefits.. But something is missing….

After almost 5 years working as a Technical Support Staff, dealing with CCBPI and San Miguel, I decided I wanted a less strenuous, less boring, cool job. So where did I end up?

I got involved with events management and productions. Hooked up with some friends and helped them out organizing parties, concerts, fashion shows, etc. That was where I really honed my multi-tasking skills. Mornings, I’m doing plans and calculations for stage riggings.. Mid day, I’m doing pre-production preparations with staff for events.. And nights, I’m in front of a pc, composing stingers/jingles for a product launch campaign. Those were the busiest days of my life.

I’m a man of aptitude especially when it comes to music. Give me one old crappy record, and I’ll turn it into a dance remix. People noticed this ability and I found myself going back doing what I really love.. DJing.. For almost 4 years, I DJ’ed at the best clubs in the city, and played major gigs in the provinces for corporate events and product launches. Partied with the best and the worst of them but sadly, some people started becoming too clingy. I hated it. Hated the fact that every time I did something awesome like, rocking a crowd on a late Saturday night, I was always told these words.. “You wouldn’t be here without me”…

Fuck it. I’m the one playing my ass off to make these people go crazy not them.. Naturally, I quit DJing lol. I didn’t like the publicity. I mean, it’s ok to rub shoulders with people here and there, but not to have a private life, and be someone else’s party slave, or bitch or toy, or whatever the hell you call it.. NAHH! Never!

So after all these confused and chaotic party years, where did I end up? I ended up here somewhere in the Middle East. I had a taste of the Good life, and the evil that lurked behind it. I didn’t like it. I want total control of my life. A life that I alone dictate.

I am presently working as a Land Surveyor/Town Planning Staff at a private company here in Muscat, Oman. Planning to move to the Government level soon. Again the question… Who taught me Surveying? Planning? No one. Well actually my father did. But he only taught me the basics. The rest, I had to learn and discover on my own. I am more than satisfied with my current job. High salary, nice apartment, new SUV, non -strenuous working hours.. What more can I ask for?. But the biggest reward has got the be.. tranquility. I am at peace now with what I do. I just hope I don’t get bored soon, or I might end up searching for another career again.

An ambulance driver in Canada? An apple picker in New Zealand? A mercenary somewhere in Africa? A chef in France? A gunrunner in Hong Kong? A Piracy boss in China? A suicide bomber in Iraq?

A man of talent never stays in one place. A man of flair never stays idle. A man in search of dreams will forever look for answers.

Where will I end up next? I will leave the guessing to you……….

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